Divorce & the Holidays

I had originally wanted to make a YouTube video about this, but I feel that the things I want to say are difficult to articulate verbally. Sometimes it's better to take the time to really hash things out by written word.

It's coming up on Christmas time. There are lights everywhere, cute storefronts, and people bustling around in their cold weather gear.
Christmastime is seen as a cozy time of year. It's time for hot chocolate, classic cartoons, and snuggling up with the people you love. Namely, your family.

I grew up in a Christian home, the oldest of four children. My father and mother got married in a church, raised their children in a church, and goodness knows we went to church every Sunday.
(I only mention the religious aspect of my life because I feel like there is a relevancy between the expectations of a religion and how that family is run.)

Every Christmas truly was a magical time. It was the time of year to celebrate the birth of a Savior, the closeness of a family, and to look forward to a new year together.

I have some beautiful memories of this time of year.
Every Christmas, my mom would buy us pajamas. We were allowed to open one of the gifts from under the tree on Christmas Eve and the pajamas were always that gift. It's funny, me and my siblings even knew that every year we would be opening up new sleepwear on the Eve, yet it was just as exciting as if it were a real surprise.

There were some Christmases when I was little that we were very poor and our gifts were humble, but I realize now that my parents must've really gone out of their way to put those things under the tree for me and my brother and sisters.
When I got into high school, my parents both had administrative jobs that paid well, and we were able to move into a bigger house out in the country. Prior to moving there, my family had moved house every few years. This house actually became a home for all of us and it's where I associate my most wonderful memories.

I remember one particular Christmas Eve in high school when, dressed in our new pajamas, blankets were laid out on the living room floor and my whole family snuggled up together in one big nest to watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. (The old stop motion version, which I must say is the best!)

Four years ago, things changed.

I was away at college and my parents weren't getting on as well as they had been before.
Or at least as well as I always thought they had been. The more I think about it, the more I think there were things I just hadn't seen.

Within the next year, my mom had divorced my dad and converted to Islam. I moved to Seattle in attempts to get away from all of it and to hopefully pursue some dreams of my own.

Living away from my siblings during that time proved difficult for me, though. My brother was 16, and my sisters 14 and 11. I knew they didn't have anyone to talk to about what they were going through, and they couldn't just pick up and move halfway across the country like I did.
So I moved home that year right before Christmas.

I don't remember the holidays very well that year. I think it was jumbled and my dad was very sad.
I didn't know how to handle seeing my father that sad; I don't think any kid knows how to handle things like that.
I only remember that my birthday was a bit wild (it falls on the 22 of December) and I felt jumbled inside.

Luckily, things have evened out since then, if even just a small amount.
One year we spent Christmas with my mom, and she doesn't celebrate Christmas. That was a bust.

The next year we spent the holiday with my father. He was in a new marriage and I think he was finally able to give a little more, whether it was physically or emotionally, than he had been able in the past.

This year, I'm not sure what will happen. I think my mother is starting to loosen the reins a little bit in that even though she may legally have my siblings on the Christmas holiday this year, she doesn't celebrate it. Therefore it would be a kind thing for her to allow my dad to spend that time with us.
My father is also no longer in the marriage he was in last year, his parents moved out of state, and I think it important for us to be with him on a day meant for families.

My point in writing this post is not to sob to you all. The point is, that I realize there are plenty of kids and young adults, like myself, that have divorced parents. That divorce may be fresh or you may have had two sets of parents since you were 5 years old. I don't really think the time passed makes the holiday season any easier.
I think the best thing to do is make the most out of the time you have with both sets of parents.

So, here are my tips for having Happy Holidays with divorced parents:

1) Make new traditions. This year, I suggested to my dad that we make some new traditions that involve just him and my brother and sisters. Perhaps that will involve a cookie eating contest, or making up silly Christmas carols, or vlogging a holiday game night! Gift giving is just a small part of the holidays. Memories last forever!

2) Keep it in the family. Things are complicated enough with the family you do have! If you can, suggest that you keep Christmas day festivities within your immediate family. However, if you have grandparents and cousins around, it can be a lot of fun to get all together! Keeping a day set aside for just family can be a real refresher during the holiday season.

3) Bond over shared interests. This is where I'll bring religion back in. Even if my whole family doesn't share the same religious beliefs, there are a lot of families that do! And for the non-religious, sometimes a quiet, reflective Christmas Eve service can be soothing. If even only for the unity and peace observed there.

4) Share love. I know it can be so difficult to feel loving and peaceful when it feels like everything has fallen apart. I encourage you to try and feel it anyway. Feel it and express it to your family. Remember all that everyone has done for you, and you for them, and how you always have each others' backs.

I want to send out my love to you all during this Holiday season. Please leave me a comment below if you have more suggestions for connecting with family during this time, and what you do to spend time with both of your parents.

Happy Holidays & Much Love

Lacey

LUSH GIVEAWAY + November Vegan Favorites!

Boxes and Boxes: Julep Maven & Vegan Cuts Beauty Boxes!

I signed up for some beauty boxes!

I won't lie, I've had my eye on both of these boxes for a long time. I mean, come on, what girl wouldn't love to get new surprise beauty products in the mail every month? You can finally have Christmas in July!

Besides the excitement of having a secret package left on my doorstep every month, both of these companies send awesome, high quality products. It was finally time for me to make my subscriptions!

First, I chose to subscribe to Vegan Cuts. They're a great website with all things vegan, sort of a massive department store of all the best vegan products. You can purchase food, clothing, makeup, bath products, and even jewelry on this website! If you need a gift for anyone, they've got you covered. This holiday season they have compiled several stocking sets like the Spa Lovers Set for your best friend, Holiday Grooming Box for that man in your life, and the Leaping Bunny Stocking with a host of various items for the new vegan cousin you've just converted. ;)

Vegan Cuts also curates boxes for those on their monthly subscription list. I did have a hard time deciding whether I wanted to get a box of snacks every month (!!!) or some beauty products. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen making my own snacks already so I decided to go with the Vegan Cuts Beauty Box!

Best decision ever.

November's box came with all sorts of cold weather goodies:
-Demes Butter Me UP in mint
-EVOLVh UltraShine Moisture Shampoo
-LaMav Antioxidant Rich Nightly Repair Nectar
-The All Natural Face Diva Stix Black Kohl Eyeliner

-Mullein & Sparrow Tinted Lip and Cheek Balm
-Shorganics Orange Spice Bar Soap

I particularly love the Butter Me UP mint stick by Demes. I can use it on my hands and my lips and I really enjoy the sustainable cardboard packaging. The lip and cheek tint is my other fave. It's nice berry color is sheer but so buildable!

For more info and to purchase a subbie to the Vegan Cuts Beauty (or Snack) Box, click here!


Okay. now we talk about the Julep box. I seriously am going to LOVE getting this box in the mail every month!
One of the really neat things about Julep is that you get to take a little quiz when you sign up to determine your "style profile". You may be matched with: Bombshell, Boho Glam, It Girl, Modern Beauty, and, my match, Classic with a Twist!
Each match entails whether you'll get two nail polishes and one full size beauty product, three nail polishes, or two full size beauty products in your monthly package. I'm personally looking forward to getting two new nail colors and a full size beauty product every month!

The MOST amazing thing about Julep? Their nail polishes are 5-free, vegan, and feature Oxygen Technology to keep your nails breathing under all that glam color! I don't know about you, but I hate taking off my polish and finding suffocated, yellow nails beneath. Gross.

I got one of their special Christmas boxes this month which included three nail colors and a full size eyeliner. I love every single product in this box. The gel eyeliner is very high quality and goes on like a dream. All of the polishes have a nice thick formula; two coats is all you need, maximum!

The nail polishes are from the Bombshell palette and feature the colors:
-Nancy (fir tree green with loads of silver shimmer)
-Fazia (rich red shimmer)
-Margarita (opaque purple)
+ Julep Gel Eye Glider in Rich Brown

Oh yeah, and you can get your first month free just by signing up! But even at full price, this box is totally worth it!

Go ahead and take your quiz now!!

Remember, both companies are vegan-friendly and cruelty-free to the max!

I'm going to go and paint my nails now...

Greetings and Salutations!

(Name that movie!)

Why hello my dearlings.

What is a beauty channel without a blog? And what is a blog without a girl?
So here I am.

Just a quick little intro about this blog:

• -This will indeed be a beauty-centered place. That includes inner and outer beauty.
• -I am no expert! I am an English major and not trained whatsoever as a beautician or cosmetologist. That being said, who needs to be trained?! Physical manipulation is art! And no one needs a degree for that :)
• -Be ready for product reviews, pretty pictures, a recipe here and there (I adore baking!), and some personal musings. This is my blog after all!
• -Cruelty-free and as Vegan as can be! I am a moral and dietary vegan and I try my hardest to incorporate that philosophy into my beauty choices! I want to choose products with ingredients that are good for my skin (3-free is something I look for, more on that later) AND good for our cuddly - and not so cuddly - friends!
• -This will be a positive place. I hope that you will come here when you're feeling down and feel better when you leave. And if you do, spread that good light around!

And here's a quick intro about me:

• At the time I'm writing this, I am a 22 year old college (or university, if you you live in the UK) senior in English. I have taken my time post-high school (college) in deciding what I want to do. I have focused on French, Theatre, and English; I even had a stint in Graphic Design. Despite my copious theatre experience (and how much I love it), it's time for me to graduate! Reading and writing are among my first loves and to them I have returned. 
• I am the oldest of four siblings! My brother Jordan is 19, and my sisters Ariana and Alexis are 17 and 14, respectively. 
• I have lived in a number of places in my life! As a youngster, my parents moved us back and forth between Wyoming and Kansas. We have family in both places and I don't think they could decide between them. ;) I lived in Pittsburg, Kansas from third grade until I graduated high school. After high school, I moved to an even smaller town in Kansas to work on theatre at a community college, back to Pittsburg, then to Seattle to pursue my dream of theatre performance at the Cornish College of the Arts. I got accepted but unfortunately, private schools are pricy! Seattle is an amazing place, though, and I stayed for a while. After a time, I decided I needed to go back to school and returned to Kansas to attend the University of Kansas in Lawrence. (You might have heard a thing or two about KU Basketball? The sport was invented here! No joke!) And here I am!
• I have experimented with veganism since I was 18. The first time I tried it, I was doing strictly for dietary reasons. I had gained weight while away at my first year of college (gasp! no way...) and I found it made me feel better and helped me lose weight. There have been times in the past that I have eaten meat and dairy products but over the last 4 years, I have been mostly vegetarian.
• This past summer I was inspired to watch some documentaries over quality diet and veganism: Forks Over Knives, for example. Then I came across some YouTube videos about the way animals were treated in commercial food plants. That was it. I was done! I couldn't and can't condone the industry. I had been feeling weird about eating meat for years. When I was eating it, I had to distract myself from what it was - and that was a pretty good sign that I shouldn't have been eating it! After making the decision to stop with ALL animal products in my diet, I feel so much better in my body and in my mind. I will certainly post more about my decision and why I made it, but for now I think this segment has gone on long enough. :)

If you have any more questions about me, veganism, or the beauty products I love, please just let me know! I would love to hear from you.

I do run a Vegan Beauty channel on YouTube! You can find me here:
https://www.youtube.com/user/yecaldaniels

See you soon!

Love,

Lacey